Question:
Hello teacher, I often see many people posting chat records with their partners on the Internet. Although it is a bit childish, it is really interesting.
As for my partner, we are very good at chatting when we meet. Once she is not around, she seems very cold. Not to mention replying to my messages instantly, sometimes she even doesn’t reply to me for a long time, or... Yeah, my reply was very perfunctory.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to accept what she says and I don’t know what to say to her.
I’m really afraid that if this goes on, we will have less and less to say. What should I do?
< p> Answer:Hello friend, many boys like to struggle with a question, "Why didn't my girlfriend reply to my message immediately? What is she doing?"
But if you He replied to her in seconds, but what a woman would think is, "Is he so free? Why doesn't everything always revolve around me?"
So, here is a simple and crude suggestion, "Don't wait in seconds. Just "return".
But you can’t continue talking this day. It may be because the interaction between you is not good, and you have not mobilized your girlfriend’s enthusiasm to love you.
What do you mean, talking about relationships is not like talking about work. You don’t need to give a short, quick and clear reply. You need to create a space for push and pull.
For example, on a weekday night when you two are not together, he asks you "What are you doing?" How do you reply?
If you reply, "I "Watching TV" is like reporting to work, so what do you expect her to say next? It can only be "Oh, okay, then you continue."
To put it bluntly, she doesn’t need to know what specific things you are doing now, she just wants to talk and flirt with you.
So, what you have to do at this time is to leave some space.
For example, you can wait a few minutes after receiving her message, and she will guess your status while waiting for your reply. This will attract her to invest more before communicating. Thoughts are on you.
After a few minutes, you can reply, "I was thinking about you, but something just diverted my attention. Guess what happened?"
In this way, he will continue to interact with you with great interest, and he will also feel that it is a lot more fun every time he contacts you.
In addition, here are a few more tips for you:
First, chat with open-ended sentences.
We often say "so and so chats to death", which means that some people always act as topic terminators. Even if others have been creating topics, they can lead the topic to a dead end and make it a dead end. People can't take it.
Second, the reply content should not be stereotyped and reduce predictability.
What do you mean, when your girlfriend can easily guess the content of your reply, she will not be "distracted" when communicating with you.
For example, if she says, "I have a dinner party tonight and can't go home on time, don't wait for me to eat." If you habitually reply "Okay", then over time, he will not think about it again. What do you say when you make this kind of "notification" request.
So the reply with high emotional intelligence is that you have to arouse her emotions, for example,
"It's quite cold today. I thought I could have hot pot with you after get off work, but first Get busy, I'll ask my buddy later."
In this way, your girlfriend can feel your expectations for him from your reply, and she will feel a little guilty because she can't accompany you, and she will feel a little guilty because of you. Be happy that you can sympathize with him, and feel reassured that you can arrange your own life
Sometimes a stable relationship requires more effort.
If you always have problems communicating with your girlfriend and don’t know how to deal with it, you can add and tell me your specific situation. Say, let me help you with an idea.
