Since couples basically meet every day, it is inevitable for them to have disagreements when encountering some things in life, and quarrels are naturally common. But if a couple always quarrels, that's not an option. What should we do if couples quarrel all the time?
First, let’s understand how often couples quarrel. Reasons for quarreling:
1. Ignoring your partner’s communication
There will be a lot of communication between couples, and the other party may send a lot of information to the other party through words or actions. If you don’t accept the If, or do not give a positive response, the relationship between the two people will change.
In psychology, this scene is called a "sliding door moment",
That is, when one person expresses the need for connection, the other person The reaction can be to open the sliding door and walk in, or to close the sliding door and turn around and leave.
These two actions will achieve completely different results.
For example: A couple went traveling together and saw beautiful scenery. The girl said passionately: "Look at the scenery on the mountain. It's so beautiful."
If the boy said: " Yes, let’s visit once a year from now on.”
This is positive feedback when you open the sliding door and go in.
If a boy says: "It's okay, there's nothing good to see on this mountain."
This is negative feedback by closing the sliding door and turning around.
If the other person ignores your needs for a long time, you will definitely doubt whether the other person really loves you. The relationship between two people will also change because of such behavior.
2. Deliberate avoidance
When lovers quarrel, there will often be a phenomenon: one party may always Try to communicate with the other party, but the other party always chooses to avoid it, and even chooses to avoid mentioning topics he doesn't like.
Such behavior is called "wall-building behavior" in psychology, which means you can avoid communicating with the other party.
The behavior of building a wall is not taking the initiative, not communicating, turning a blind eye, and not listening.
This kind of avoidance is not good for communication between the two parties, and may even make things worse.
A person is talking endlessly without any feedback or reaction, just like talking to a wall. No matter how good-tempered anyone is, they will break down sometimes.
What should we do if couples quarrel frequently?
1. Avoid settling old scores
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When quarreling, the mostWhat I'm afraid of is turning over old scores, and everything from the past will be revealed at every turn.
Women will chatter endlessly every time they settle old scores. One thing may bring up everything in communication.
A woman thinks this is a reminder to a man not to make the same mistake again, but when a man hears this, he will think, "You wouldn't believe me in the first place, so the consequences will be the same whether I make it or not in the future."
Continuously turning over old scores will only escalate conflicts. He may even feel that he has made a mistake once and will never have a chance to correct it.
We have done one thing wrong, but it does not mean that we are a bad person, nor does it mean that we completely deny a person.
Having a bad temper does not mean that the person has a bad character, and does not like to do housework. It does not mean that the person does not care about his family.
Don’t always evaluate a person by a single criterion.
2. Take the initiative to stop the dispute
When two people quarrel, one always needs to compromise first before the dispute can be ended. A quarrel.
Many people feel that stopping on their own initiative makes them lose face, and they may even lose the argument. In fact, people who take the initiative to stop disputes are more generous.
Just like a line in "Blood Guanyin":
The person who reconciles first is not because he is afraid of losing, but because he cherishes it.
It is not shameful to be a person who takes the initiative to reconcile, but is even more admirable.
There are no couples in this world who don’t quarrel, but there are always couples who never break up.
There is a saying in the Bible: Love is long-suffering.
Everyone is different and has a different personality. Being able to be together for a long time means constant running-in.
In the cycle of quarrels and reconciliations, the two hearts become closer and become more suitable for each other, and this is the greatest thing about love.
