Question: I will be 30 in a few months. I am a public servant in a small county town. I have been working in this job for almost 7 years after graduating from college. We have been dating intermittently for 4-5 years. If someone introduces us, we will chat on WeChat to meet. If someone introduces us, we will chat. If no one introduces us, we will stay alone. I won’t take the initiative to chat with girls in my workplace.
I feel so tired every time I go on a blind date. I am the one who takes the initiative to chat. None of them take the initiative to send messages. I take the initiative to invite them. Some will meet, some will not, and some are interested in me. Some of them I like better, but generally it’s hard to talk about them. Once I was directly bullied by someone. It was the first time I encountered someone who was completely overwhelmed and uncomfortable. If I didn’t respond to someone who was bullied later, I would just post a short essay and delete it.
The following basically follows the process, add WeChat to chat, if I don’t contact her, she doesn’t reply to me, it’s over.
Added a WeChat chat, I contacted her and she responded to me, but she would not take the initiative to contact me, and then she couldn’t make an appointment, so it was over. . This is the most common.
Added a WeChat chat, I contacted her and she responded to me. To be honest, I have never seen anyone take the initiative to contact me, then make an appointment, then play on the phone without talking, and it’s over.
Added a WeChat chat, I contacted her and she responded to me, made an appointment, went out, made an appointment, didn’t go out, it was over.
To be honest, I really don’t want to go on blind dates anymore. It’s not that blind dates are bad, but that the bumps and bumps along the way consume my enthusiasm. I leave with full expectations every time, and it’s uncomfortable to gain so much negative energy. Coming back, this is really not what I want.
What should I do if I don’t want to go on a blind date?
Answer: It feels like you are a lonely person inside, and you long for someone of the same kind to comfort each other and hold each other together for warmth. You long for love but are too shy to express it. Because I kept getting no response when I took the initiative, I was happy and didn’t want to go on a blind date. This is actually normal.
To be honest, if you could take the initiative to chat with girls at work, you might be single long ago. Even if there is no suitable match among your colleagues, if they introduce their best friend to you, it can be regarded as a close relationship.
And maybe because you lack experience in communicating with the opposite sex in real life, I think the content you chat with the girls on WeChat may not be pleasing. "Some people are interested in me, and some people I like better, but generally it's difficult to continue the conversation." Are these two situations after meeting? But that's how blind dates are, either you don't like her or she doesn't like you, or they don't like each other.
If you find someone who is interested in you after meeting, or someone you like better, you should really pursue the opportunity and meet more times. Give both parties more chips to see each other through.
"I was directly bullied once. I was completely overwhelmed and uncomfortable for the first time. If you didn't respond to the cold bully later, I just posted a short essay and deleted it." It shows that you are very sensitive and have high self-esteem. Very strong. The other party coldly bullied you, but you still posted a short essay before deleting the other party? I think you're quite cute.
In fact, I think even if you join some interest groups online, get to know more like-minded girls, date online first, talk about your feelings and then show up, it will be better than You are reliable in blind dates. Of course, you also need to be discerning when making friends online.
You are a bit blind, and your expectations for blind dates may be a bit high, and you will not be able to get out of this vicious circle. If you can work steadily for seven years, you have a certain degree of perseverance and stubbornness in your heart. You should open your arms, see more of the outside world, and get to know more people. If you just passively wait for your dream job. Perfect love is unrealistic for you.
